Quotes VIII


Genix: I find this place... fun.
Genix: It has certain qualities you only find in expensive asylums.

Bkwyrm: I'm about as goth as a potato.

Incubus: I'm sure this is an interesting nest full of vipers and scorpions, mixed in a vile cauldron with twisted pleasures and mad writings.

Fenwick: Everyone here is happy? Now that's a change from the norm...

Bkwyrm: I skipped the whole marrying a magician thing and married someone who practices the REALLY DARK arts.
Genix: being?
starbird: a lawyer!


Bel-Alil: No., this is all a facade. I'm really an insensitive bastard

Fenwick: Maybe I should just shoot my computer and put it out of its memory.

Incubus: hmm, looking at the mirror, I see a bearded guy with black jeans and a pentagram over his bare chest, holding a vacuum cleaner. What a contradictory sight.

Incubus: Now I can feel like a real zee_vortex: yesterday I got banned from all the christian channels 'xcept stronghold, plus from #kkk and #combat18. For various reasons, and not just going in and saying 'fuck' ;)

Thanatos: HEY! I've got a new IP, I should be able to join #christian_stronghold again <G>

Saturnus: Now that Damn sentinel Incubus decided to rob his nick back :(
Fenwick: What are you walking about? "/whois incubus" : "incubus :No such nick"
Saturnus: He must have just left
Saturnus is now known as Incubus
Fenwick: Ah, now there's the Incubus we all know and love. Well, know at least.

Fazer: Who here has a site dedicated to Goetia?
Fenwick: Not I, said the cute little chaote.
Bkwyrm: Nor I, said the small wyrm

Incubus: ouch! my head!
Incubus: What was that for?
Bkwyrm: My own amusement. :)
Incubus is tired of always being the victim of sadistic assaults.
Bkwyrm gives Incubus a cookie.
Incubus: Wow, that made me feel a lot better.
Incubus sniffs the cookie suspiciously.

Bkwyrm hits X with a reformed anarchist, currently in the service of King Leopold II of Belgium.

Incubus: *pant* May I lick your feet to thank you Fenwick?
Fenwick bears himself regally.
Fenwick: You may bow down to me as your god. ;-P
Incubus bows down to Fenwick as his god.
Fenwick laughs.

Incubus: Hail Fenwick!
Fenwick: Anyone who follows me is more a fool than I am.
Irias: that makes some kind of sense.

Fenwick looks around him as if noticing things for the first time.
Fenwick: Hey, what the...
Fenwick: You guys are all *chaotes*, aren't you? I'm surrounded by chaotes! When did that happen?
Fenwick ponders.
Irias: last tuesday.... 11 am...
Incubus: Fenwick: you're surrounded by geeks, whose only way to try and get laid is to pretend to me a magician in irc :-P
Incubus: I just have to hope I get laid before we start talking about magick...<g>

Incubus: Hmm, I guess nobody wants to hear more of my pervert rantings...
Irias: good guess.
Incubus: Yeah, I thought so
Incubus shuts up

Fenwick: With sound/color synaesthesia, who needs drugs?

Fenwick: I think I just had some sort of mini-satori.

Bkwyrm dips Nhnehek in brown gravy and locks him in a room with a wolverine high on methylamphetamine.
Fenwick: Bored, Bkwyrm?
Bkwyrm: How'd you guess?

Bkwyrm: I want a popsicle.

^Dekon^^: thanks booky
^Dekon^^: now I can start quotes3.doc ;-)

Saturnus: Hey magicians: couldn't you magick Helena into a more awake state?
Hephzriba: zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz
Saturnus: Or make her snort some speed, if nothing else helps.

Believer: That reminds me
Believer: I should go to a titty bar tonight

Believer: I need to anyway to make my penis thick enough to touch both sides at once.
Bkwyrm: I have no reply to that.

^Dekon^: btw, I may be a bit naive, but what do you mean "touch both sides at once
Believer: I just can't.
Believer: Good jokes are ruined with explanation.
^Dekon^: ok
Bkwyrm: You're classifying that as a good joke?
Believer: Until you tell a better one, Henny Youngman.

ZOSimos: "Trigger locks attached to handguns to prevent them being fired" - so now you have to beat an assailant to death with the butt?
^Dekon^: zos: I prefer pistol whipping them.

ZOSimos: Yep. Browser has died.
ZOSimos: It said I'd done an illegal operation. What? I never carried out any backstreet abortions...

BenwayMD: I thought all of you Americans carried at least one firearm with you at all times.
^Dekon^: benway: in a perfect world ;-)

Genghisss: I'd rather be a 20 year old bi chick than anything else in the world.

BenwayMD: What kind of qualifications do lapdancers need?

Believer: I was just watching CBN
Believer: if you send several thousand dollars to Rev. Falwell, you will make even MORE money.
Believer: It is apparently God's law.
Bkwyrm: I had no idea.
Bkwyrm: I should watch CBN more often, I guess.

^Dekon^ is listening to Mercyful Fate now.
^Dekon^: and I think you can agree that, though I sing badly, at least I've quit trying to sing like King Diamond. ;-)
Believer: thank goodness.

BenwayMD: I dislike love poetry. Intensely.
BenwayMD: I decided that in the last few seconds.
threejane: yes
KrimHum: We'll have to write you some, then, Benway.

cidal: Dekon, you're just jealous of people who have no lives.
^Dekon^: eh?
^Dekon^: I'm fairly sure that everyone can vouch for me when I say I have no life ;-)
^Dekon^: ain't that right, Kat?
Xaronzon: he's telling satan's honest truth

cidal: i've beeneating rye bread all day.
cidal: moldy at that
Eibon: cant remember the last time i ate rye bread
^Dekon^: good, maybe you'll see the Virgin Mary <g>

cidal: i will eat your soul

^Dekon^: http://dailynews.yahoo.com/h/ap/20000517/us/domestic_violence.html
^Dekon^: Domestic Violence is in decline
^Dekon^: this can only mean one thing
^Dekon^: America has finally lost all sense of family values
^Dekon^: <g>

Riordan (riordanmcg@AC82B298.ipt.aol.com) has joined #thee_vortex
Riordan: Greets
^Dekon^: 94
^Dekon^: er
^Dekon^: -1 <g>

FrSam: Dekon: Are you questioning the way we run this channel?
^Dekon^: FrSam: yes.
^Dekon^: yes I am.

Radu: I used to put the chicken nuggets on the querterpounders(that must be a sin somewhere)

Fenwick: Wicca was a boy scout project gone awry. Ever hear about Woodcraft?
Fenwick: I should scan the article from Gnosis magazine about it and put it up on chaos matrix.
Saturnus: hmm, beyond the simple 'tiimmbbeerrr', no
starbird: H.P. Woodcraft? The horror writer?
Fenwick: Heh. No, not quite. Though wicca is quite a horror.

Xaronzon: woo. packed room
Infamus: yea
Fenwick: Yeah, but most of 'em are quiet, like normal.

starbird: mandatory drug tests?! are you an air traffic controller?

Shemhazai: post punk will rise again
Widowson: it will indeed, even if it involves me buggering its corpse


BenwayMD injects WAKKA with 333mgs of sanity

Darkangel: guess what guy's your all lamers!!! thats what i just learned. This is fun!

KittiKat: gods
KittiKat: xtian channel grafitti
KittiKat: * O`Shea JESUS RULES!!!

Ravage: reminds me of storys i used to write about defiling the sailor moon chicks

Genix: I wanna see kung-fu porn! DAMN MY FUCKED UP CONNECTION!

Rilleman: Hello you christian mutherfuckers

DeadFish: You hear the splashing of a naiad.
^Dekon^: Naiad the you splashing hear a of.
Riordan: You hear the splashing of my enlarged member falling into the water going after the naiad

TeckYong: 2 Dekons?
TeckYong: ;p
Xaronzon: now THAT is a scary scenario

Infamus: naja, die machen alles:azagthoth evokation durch fistfuck und dergl.

entugrl: you know, as a homosexual, I might have to kick your bot ass for being so stupid

ZosXavius: fucking netscape won't run on this bitch

Believer has quit IRC (auf wieder sehen, poopieface. )

smakonhed: RETARDEDS! FROM! SPACE!!!!!!

Xaronzon thinks your kinda cute, and that interesting poses could be made with those swords

Xaronzon: Yeah, go on. Men will envy you and women will lust after you. (or vice versa, depending on individual sexual preferences)

S-mage: I'm not getting myself tied up by Kaisharga! he'd defile my innocent body!!!

Xaronzon observes that S-mage has a very long and nice sword

Xaronzon pauses to drool over Britney Spears..

^Dekon^: Kat, would you like to get her into a threesome with Christina Aguilera?
S-mage: and if so, can I watch?

Xaronzon LIKES this trend for young and cute pop singers
S-mage thinks they're somewhat unwholesome
S-mage: not that that's bad...
Xaronzon thinks she'd like to see exactly how unwholesome they're prepared to be

^Dekon^: classic novels don't grow on trees.
Ahiphena: Well, they sort of do.
^Dekon^: well, yeah.

S-mage: and BIG silver shiny horns! and longs bloodspattered talons!

Ahiphena: That happens to first year med students all the time.
Ahiphena: I adored my bone saw.
Ahiphena: I loved that girl and she knew it.

Xaronzon: you mean magick isn't OT in here?!

Adar_Caan: #Bible Rule #3
Adar_Caan: 3. If a topic cannot appeal to the bible for clarification, then please change topics. 1 Timothy 6:3-4
<^Dekon^: adar: what does that mean tho
^Dekon^: does that mean that if it isn't expliitly stated in the bible, that it shouldn't be dealt with?
Adar_Caan: just what it says
ne0: ok, new topic: how bout them yankees?

ne0: i dont approve of this topic

Bkwyrm: I can't go three blocks without bumping into a magician. That's when they're not living with me.

Saturnus: You must have some pervert bookwyrmy satisfaction about that

Bkwyrm: We also import people.

Arawyn: Most Middle Eastern countries recognize the following Islamic law:
Arawyn: "After having sexual relations with a lamb, it is a mortal sin to eat its flesh. "

Bkwyrm: When I worked at a public library at the reference desk, I once got a telephone call from a man asking if you could get any diseases from having sex with a cow.
Bkwyrm: The answer was yes.

Saturnus: I have potato chips, whiskey, tobacco, a girl. Everything is perfect

^Dekon^: have you forgotten everything I've taught you about polygamy? ;-)

^Dekon^: damn....no results under +crystal +buttplug

smakonhed: HOORAY!!! it is breakfast time in the land of fat.

Widowson: they're external ham receptors.

Incubus is a whore

Xaronzon rejoices that the price of Snapple has been halved.

Magius: I have found my Path. Baysitting is more than just what I do. It is what I am

Cambiel: Arawyn, you no say Daddy me Snow me I'll go blame, a licky boom boom down

Thanatos: ROFL: error message: error 421 - Slow ass motherfucker

X changes topic to 'In Shit we trust'

fand: Xaronzon, are you the bitchy one from #sorcery?

Genix1: fuck!
Xaronzon: fuck what?
Arawyn: Not you.

fand: is there a succubus training school?

Max42: I'd rather hang out with a criminal than a wiccan.

devi-3: #suicide is a fun channel

Max42: wiccans are either chicks or borderline gay

Thanatos: Me be count Krolok, me be origin of vamps

Thanatos: Hmm, vampire that's allergic to blood might be fun
Xaronzon: that's even better than the vamps who only drink their own blood

Xaronzon changes topic to 'Welcome to the sphere of unreasoning chaos & over pretentious of grandeur

Max42: why are you here?
nutahuti: why not

threejane is THE inventor of chaos magic

nutahuti: so where is everyone from, or, at?
Max42: here
Max42: there
Max42: or elsewhere

Max42: hey, all i said was 'who the hell are you?'
Thane: oooh, playing the big bad hairy ass chao mage?

Xaronzon changes topic to 'Chaos Magicians: An Argument Waiting to Happen.

Thane: Where's Magius?
Thane: I WANNA BAN!!!

Thanatos likes that red shine that comes from the mouse
Xaronzon: Thanatos, that made no sense whatsoever
Thanatos: Why?
Xaronzon: don't ask me; you said it. What red shine?
Thanatos: That red shine that comes from the mouse. It looks neat

nutahuti: are mouse balls as good as eyeballs
threejane: too tiny to lick
Xaronzon: nah, they're all little and hairy...

Xaronzon wonders if this channel could perhaps not be more accurately described as a surrealist channel than a chaote channel...

Thane slaps Xaronzon around with ye oly Bible
Xaronzon sizzles a bit
nutahuti: i smell trout

Xaronzon: I want a newbie wiccan to play with. It's not fair.

X changes topic to '. Kisses may last for as much as, but no more than, five minutes.'

IPpy: Chocolate is the sexual candy
IPpy: Quite like an orgasm

X changes topic to 'Jesus died for his own sins, not mine'

BenwayMD: Once, I tried to read an evokation of Satan from a crumbling old grimoire and Father Christmas appeared.

Genix: bk: the blonde one?
Bkwyrm: Yes, I'm the blonde one.

ZOSimos: I sell it by the barrel.

DeadFish: christ on toast i could eat a baby boy.

Widowson: i huff it from whipped cream containers

Son_Of_Sam_I_Am: Boy, i don't remember fully, but i seem to remember learning that jewish law at that time considered a woman to be a virgin as long as her partner...um, pulled out, before climax

foog: gabriel, what does "Bawitdaba" mean?

ChORONZON: This is a unique item that you will get laugh after laugh
ChORONZON: with! It is a donkey that when you pull it's ears down, it
ChORONZON: calmly lifts it's tail and ejects a cigarette out of it's butt.
ChORONZON: look at that - the donkey even doez it calmly. . .

Bkwyrm: I hate it when I'm underpantsed.

Bkwyrm: Okay, when I type "Satanism" into the search engine at eBay, why are all these Disney items coming up?
^Dekon^: lol
Xaronzon: an urban legend
^Dekon^: whiny christians probably
Xaronzon: rumours Disney to be Satanic
Saturnus: Mickey Mouse is from Hell!
Bkwyrm: But there's nothing even related to that word in the description of the items.
Bkwyrm: Mysterious indeed.


Bkwyrm changes topic to 'The reign of apocalyptic terror previously scheduled for today has been, unfortunately, indefinitely postponed.'

Saturnus: time for us little dark suns to go to bed now...

^Dekon^: part of the problem is it tends to be adopted as a path by a. feminists, b. people who think that joining a nature religion will liberate them from christianity, c. teenagers who want to be just like the girls in The Craft, or d. fluffy bunny white light twits in general ;-)
^Dekon^ wonders which part of that statement will get him castrated ;-)

ChanServ changes topic to 'I'm so sexy I attract inanimate objects." LMAO'
Gilyan: uht oh
Gilyan: whats chanserv up too?
^Dekon^: tooting hir own horn, I would imagine.

Genix: I'm dissing people in #teensex, and they actually have a fucking swearing restriction

Teck-Yong: I want to be a writer for D&D

^enoch^: Heh. Smile and nod this mofo!

SatShower shakes water from his wet hair on Bkwyrm and parades around in Adam's attire.
Bkwyrm: Nice fig leaf.

Bkwyrm menaces ^Dekon^ with a strawberry pop-tart.

DeadFish: uh oh. i'm having that vision of ada byron in her underpants again.

shootme was kicked by ^Dekon^ (*yawn* time to abuse the bot.)
shootme (mojojojo@boooo.creepy.net) has joined
shootme: You have murdered me!
shootme was kicked by ^Dekon^ (Death is just the beginning.)
shootme (mojojojo@boooo.creepy.net) has joined
shootme: you better not do that again
shootme was kicked by ^Dekon^ (Ha!)

Fenwick: Mmm. It looks like just another typical day in the Land of Zee.

Widowson: the throbbing maize of orfice violation.

kiya wonders if she can hide beside Bkwyrm
Bkwyrm: Pretty big desk, and you're not all that wide. Sure, come on, you can hide under the credenza.
kiya hides under the credenza
Bkwyrm: Mind the cat.

Bkwyrm: Where is Ms. PoodlePants?

Andrew changes topic to 'We don't like the term 'beavers', we'd rather be called vagina squirrels...'

Bkwyrm hits ^Dekon^ with the Goat of Idiocy.

Saturnus: some sex conversation: troglodyt: #thelema really sucks

^Dekon^: hmm...a meta-quote

Widowson: i think that has to be a new euphemism. "i hate to tell you this bob, but you're breaking the flying pig"

Bkwyrm: I have a nest of squirrels in the garage roof.
Bkwyrm: And the baby ones are starting to come out and play on the roof.
Bkwyrm: They're cute, for rats with fuzzy tails.

smakonhed: captain fag has a boyfriend. he works at weddings. and is fat. he is also ben franklin.

Bkwyrm changes topic to 'Home of the Robotic Secret Chiefs'

JediX (JediKnight@ has joined
JediX is here and the Force is with him.

Saturnus has difficulties deciding which one would be more fun: #thee_vortex quotes, or pussy.
Genix: pussy.
Genix slaps you
Genix: think straighter, dunce.
Saturnus: Hey, I just had great time reading the quotes
^Dekon^: yeah?
Saturnus: I almost got turned on

^Dekon^: he probably thinks we're some super evil goth wannabe nihilist cult now.

^Dekon^ cares.

entugrl pokes DF
DeadFish: balrgh!
DeadFish: entugrl has driven me to lash out in anger.
shootme was kicked by DeadFish (DeadFish)

Fenwick: Yikes... For a moment there I was trying to picture Saturnus shaving his teeth!

MitochondrialEve: There is some very decent quality anime porn out there actually, not that I'd know.
^Dekon^: Hentai doesn't interest me that much
^Dekon^: although, it would be hard to fake tentacle sex irl

starbird: is everybody having a sunny fluffy bunny morning here?
sushi: uh..
sushi: no
^Dekon^: hehe
Genix: starbird: gah, no fluff!
Genix kicks your fluffy head :P

starbird drops his pants again
starbird: and aims a warm fluffy sunny little fartcloud in your general direction

smakonhed: i want to eat your lion.

DeadFish: 'course the more practical annoyance i've had with sensory deprivation tanks is drifting and hitting the walls of the tanks.

Deggial: when i took acid one time i thought the furniture was conspiring against me in an evil plot to consume my soul... but then again i coulda been a little off-side

Riordan: Deggial: It's all true...I heard the story from a used recliner a couple of years back

DeadFish: you were more accurate than you may guess. Sofas, for instance, are a favored tool of choronzon

^Dekon^: shin: no goth pussy for you, eh?

DeadFish: goddamn ninjas

Xaronzon: ou know what this chat sys needs?
Xaronzon: FEEDBACK
Thanatos: ok, we'll feed it back to you.
Xaronzon: oh, shut up. I'm the one with the bad puns
Thanatos: you're the one with the bad bums you mean.

Xaronzon: OK, which smartarse locked my box?

BenwayMD urinates in Ravage's Heavenly Pool when he isn't looking
^Dekon^: don't mind Ben, he just does Enochian.

Bkwyrm: I am NOT a pokemon.
Bkwyrm: Dammit.

^Dekon^ changes topic to 'Bkwyrm, I choose you!'

BenwayMD: bubye bottomgobbler!

Hephzriba: I feel like Hell, right now
Hephzriba: *grins*
Genix: a grinning hell.
Genix: hmm.

Heiste eats a golden apple.

BenwayMD (ronron@d302.coll.cf.ac.uk) has joined #thee_vortex
X sets mode: +o BenwayMD
BenwayMD changes topic to 'Boo'
^Dekon^: hi
BenwayMD: Shh! No talking on the channel.

zallak: what does Thelema zallak mean?
Believer: It is a special way of saying "Fuck you, nipple sucker."

MirtleT: When night comes where does the white stuff go?

zallak: LAshtAL?
BenwayMD: Another stupid 93 word.
zallak: what's it mean?
BenwayMD: It's colloquial coptic. It translates to "shove it, arse pirate"

shootme was kicked by ^Dekon^ (As an example to others.)

MirtleT: booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored.

ZangTT: Am I talking to a bot?
_Zontar_: ZangTT: Don't count on it

ZangTT: I like bots, don't get me wrong. They do better on the turing test than a lot of folks i know.

^Dekon^: so
^Dekon^: who here names their dog "Because"

ZangTT: I bet when you were a kid, you fantasized about a house with a secret submarine base.
ZangTT: I know *I* did.

ZangTT: i dressed like a edgy artsy punk, with a touch of woody allen.
ZangTT: and after all these years, i've still got chafing.
^Dekon^ dressed more or less like a Sith Lord.

Widowson: David R. Jones is really the gnome in my underwear drawer.

Deggial: holy shit i am lagged by 10 minutes!

^Dekon^: spleeb: just because they're imaginary doesn't mean they aren't real.

zallak: me and Dekon are having anti-sexx
zallak: i wonder what that would look like
^Dekon^: probably like Akbar and Jeff sitting on opposite sides of that huge couch of theirs

Widowson builds violet a sofa out of ham

^Dekon^: wid, are you talking about sex with your HGA again?
^Dekon^: having, rather

Gibor: knowledge,conversation, and snogging of one's HGA

^Dekon^: wid: I think you need to lay off the Enochian, dude ;-)

DeadFish: i really like the mummified corpse of Imhotep III. he's teriyaki style.

exobyte: a fart is magick

Bkwyrm changes topic to '<Incubus> oh, I forgot: bald old thelemite 'daddies' from beyond the grave'

Fenwick: I don't mind Qabala... with lots of ketchup.

starbird: Illuminatus was fiction?!!!!!
starbird: next you're gonna tell me there was no Necromonicon:(

starbird: I believe that the wiccans feel threatened whenever you mention something that might be older and badder than Goddess:)

Bkwyrm: Well, I don't harass Christians, but it's sometimes fun to introduce Pagans to the notion of chaos magic.
Bkwyrm: Chaos magic, meet an undereducated Pagan. Undereducated Pagan, meet chaos magic.

UrbaNomad: lol... who would want to control winamp with a joystick?

Pope-Theophilia-the-Eclectic: Eternal^Light: Eris Communicates through your pineal gland, and the new york stock exchange
^Dekon^: she also sometimes communicates through CB Radio.

Fenwick: Martial artists, eastern trad, or am I barking up the wrong tree completely?
Angelshoa: totally wronge tree. My tree is on the southern end of the park:)

sythka: my town has the most related but still married people

Gbryal: My mom doesn't know that I am still Methodist.

vergil changes topic to 'Goddess9 (~Virgogodd@AC84FB60.ipt.aol.com) has joined #thelema <smakonhed> Aik!!! the goblins escape the zoo!!!!'

Widowson: vergil, i just want to take this opportunity to tell you that i love you.

KrimHum: I went to a catholic church on Easter once. My aunt tried to convince me to take communion, but I refused. I guess I was afraid I'd get infected or something.
^Dekon^: krim: no, you'd spontaneously combust, because you aren't Catholic ;-)

Widowson has a secret life as a hot quebeqois babe.

Violet99: my navel hurts :(
^Dekon^: violet: maybe you're gazing at it too hard ;-)

triskele: me is the youngin.

^Dekon^ changes topic to 'Hot Button Issue: "Battlefield Earth the Movie" - yea or nay?'
^Dekon^ votes for "or" himself

Andrew: though I do know of a live-action lord of the rings coming soon
fenzer: yeah man, have you seen the trailer?
^Dekon^ only hopes they don't make a Wheel of Time movie
fenzer: no kidding, it would be 20 hours long
fenzer: and that's just the first book

ZangTT: for some really perverse reason, i felt like listening to the only jethro tull song i like.

Joachim: that is indeed perverse
ZangTT: agreed.
ZangTT: i have my moments.
ZangTT: sometimes, i need cheap trick like you wouldn't believe.
ZangTT: like right now.

FastEddie: Wid: as a Wisconsinite, do you suffer from cheese on the brain?

Hephzriba does the "I hate ex-bfs who stops by to visit"-dance

BenwayMD: Ok. So we'll annihilate the Evil Empire before supper.