How to please Women

 

troglodyt: you mean pay attention?
troglodyt: jeez.
troglodyt: while fucking?
sythka: fucking hard and fast is great
sythka: but you know, that's not the only way to do it
^Dekon^: hey arawyn....we're talking about how to pleasure women, so...;p
Arawyn: so...?
^Dekon^: never mind
Arawyn grins
troglodyt: I am a brilliant lover, so I need no advice, really.
Max42: Yeah.
sythka: honestly, alot of men are
Max42: We're just listening coz noone else is talking.
sythka: experience helps alot
troglodyt: On the other hand, I don't think I have ever given a woman a vaginal orgasm via intercourse.
Max42: She's practically forcing it down our throats. ;-P
Arawyn: Speaking of which, I remember seeing a nice page about giving excellent blowjobs a while back,
sythka: alot of that is positioning
sythka: HAHAHA
sythka: so.. i'm a perv
^Dekon^: oh, and you know, they'll likely want to cuddle afterwards....it's easy for me, as I try not to see women as just living breathing sex toys
Max42: where do we aim? =P
Max42: We're talking about giving women orgasms, Dekon. Not about the relationship part of the thing.
troglodyt: ihave seen a lot of movies, so i know the best way to make a woman cum is to spooge on her tits and call her a slut
Max42: erm... okay =P
Max42: lol
sythka: really, where's the bj page?
troglodyt: also, never support your weight with your elbows.
troglodyt: use her breasts, that is what they are for!
Arawyn: Wanna know how to get a woman go of really fast?
troglodyt: nature's cushions
sythka: lol
Max42: sythka: you've got 4 guys in here to ask, and you want the url?
sythka: yeah
^Dekon^: max: but if you don't treat her right AFTERWARDS, what makes you think she'll want to let you give her another orgasm?
Arawyn: Sythka: it's in German, on the Anubis page IIRC (that's about chaos magick usually)
troglodyt: like she doesn't want two orgasms?
troglodyt: come on
sythka: hehe yeah
^Dekon^: gabe: I've also seen getting those videos...they seem to like getting it all over their faces too....
Arawyn: Anyway, to get a woman off pretty fast, pull out your dick and wipe it off on the curtains (preferably after they were washed)
Max42: Dekon: I reiterate: We are not talking about that, and it's no huge revelation.
sythka: :(
sythka: ok
^Dekon^: max: maybe not to you and me, but to the average man, well ;-)
troglodyt: if it is the things with the live eels and weed eater, i tried it and it not only doesn't work, but gets you a lawsuit
Max42: i think that even the average man gets that, but doesn't care =p
sythka: lol you rock guys
Max42: sythka: guys like it the opposite: hard and fast
troglodyt: Max42: I don't
Max42: just remember that the underside is the most sensitive
troglodyt: My favourite way to have sex is to not move at all
Max42: troglodyt: i said *guys*
sythka: hard and fast is good
troglodyt: ah
sythka: but thats not all!!
Arawyn: Max: hard yes, fast no.
Arawyn: at least not always.
troglodyt: what am I?
sythka: just hard and fast can get booring
Max42: a guy
Max42: an individual as opposed to the norm, you antisocial freak =p
sythka: and numbing after a period of time
Max42: sythka: not to guys =p
troglodyt: numb is good for a guy
troglodyt: it means he won't spooj before you
sythka: fine you guys were asking about girls i thought
sythka: see arawyn knows
troglodyt: I like a vertical approach so my penis touches the naughty bits on the way in
Max42: no, i was explaining how guys like it
sythka: i know
troglodyt: using your hand to rub the vulva with your glans is nice for both of you, too
sythka: no i need to learn about blowjobs, it's my weak point
sythka: i'm usualy giving orders not doing favors:P
troglodyt: the best blowjob I ever got was from a guy
Arawyn: Guys know better how to suck since they know where they should put the tongue to.
X changes topic to 'You can loose yourself in pleasure til your body's going numb, but will it ever be enough? You know it will never be enough'
troglodyt: to give a blow job:
troglodyt: a) your lips aren't enough
^Dekon^: jamie: I think they won't care THAT much as long as you don't tear their dick off with your teeth ;-) at least I'd be more tolerant
troglodyt: b) use your tongue, and maybe your teeth, your throat, and cheeks
Arawyn: b) moving up and down fast isn't enough either
sythka: the best head i ever got was from a girl so :P
troglodyt: c) scratch the balls or perineum lightly if he doesn't mind
troglodyt: d) use your hand
troglodyt: jerking him off at the same time is a great idea.
troglodyt: watch him jerk off first
Arawyn: You can always start to finger him if he doesn't mind
troglodyt: then you know how he does it, cuz all guys are different
sythka: ok, i do all that
troglodyt: a finger up the ass doesn't suck
Arawyn: Some preasure on the prostate is a good idea.
Donatien: e) thumb up the ass
^Dekon^: gabe: yeah, but I'd like her to primarily use her mouth, otherwise it's just giving a handjob with a little bit of mouth action, almost as though she were trying to get out of giving an actual blow ;p
sythka: mmhmm, never thought of that
sythka: oh yeah, i do the prostate thing
Arawyn: Of course it would be advisable not to have finger nails that are 5 inches long.
troglodyt: the worst blowjobs I have gotten were just too light, i could hardly feel them, cuz they were very gentle, lips on my shaft
troglodyt: when I jerk off, I do it hard and violently
sythka: never thought of watching how he beats off tho
troglodyt: but however he jerks off, you should find out.
sythka: mmhmm
Max42: nah
Max42: guys jerk off different ways on different days
Donatien: monday: left hand
Donatien: tuesday: right hand
Max42: not necessarily the most pleasurable way
troglodyt: oh, i just go for the gold when I jerk off.
Max42: wednesday: cheese grater
sythka: hahah
Donatien: thursday: watermelon ...
Max42: thursday: bed
sythka: try a brush
Max42: friday: cat
sythka: *ouch*
troglodyt: it's nice to watch a girl jerk off while you do.
Donatien: saturday: sandpaper
Donatien: sunday: choirboy
^Dekon^: sunday: playstation
Max42: saturday: yoghurt and sandpaper
sythka: lol rotfl
Arawyn: Not an american pie?
^Dekon^: monday: stuffed fish
Max42: not everyone is american ;-P
troglodyt: an interesting masturbation aid is the juice of a jalepeno pepper.
Max42: actually, masturbating with apple or cherry pie isn't all that much fun
Donatien: tuesday: penis in watermelon, cucumber up arse
^Dekon^: tuesday: box of cocoa puffs cereal
Max42: although the stimulation to the scrotum is nice
sythka: i know this kid that got caught fucking a dead fish
sythka: *GAG*
Arawyn: ROFL!
^Dekon^: oh my god are you serious?
Max42: hey sythka, want an avi? <G:
sythka doesnot find animals live or dead sexualy arousing
sythka: yes, he did
troglodyt: I think the weirdest thing I have fucked was a hollowed out, microwaved cucumber.
sythka: that's creative
Donatien: why microwave it first?
troglodyt: yes, but it was too hot.
^Dekon^: lol
sythka: the weirdest thing i ever fucked was my ex gf:P
troglodyt: i burned my wang
Max42: i'd say the wierdest thing i've fucked, but none of you would type at me the same again =p
^Dekon^: have you ever shot fire with your dick gabe?
Donatien: were you originally planning on eating it first, and then suddenly think .. "hey, wait a minute ..."?
^Dekon^: max: please tell us
troglodyt: so it would be warm like a pussy
sythka: oh god, not this again
Max42: dekon: No.
Donatien: Gabe: ah. i must try that some time.
troglodyt: Donatien: Exactly
sythka: hehe
sythka: wouldn't like a cheese sandwich be closer?
troglodyt: I have heard good things about a ziplock full of KY rubber banded between two hot sponges. placed between your matresses.
troglodyt: a cheese sandwich?
troglodyt: ick.
Max42: actually butter is nice to masturbate with
troglodyt: some women's vaginas look like roast beef.
troglodyt: I have never figured that out.
sythka: i heard the same but it was silky cloth
Max42: plus it melts on your dick, not in your mouth =p
sythka: hahah
^Dekon^: so tell us about your ex-gf jamie
Max42: lol
X changes topic to '<Max42: plus it melts on your dick, not in your mouth'
sythka: the girl was a fucking head case
sythka: like crazier than me
^Dekon^: oh?
Max42: we all know that's you, arawyn =p
sythka: and at this point i was sleeping with gus too
sythka: so every guy i was with she would stalk and try to sleep with
troglodyt: #thelema really sucks
Max42: hrm
Max42: somehow i just don't view you as being crazy
troglodyt: I basically asked Davy Jones last night if he was just kidding about being thelemic.
troglodyt: i was saddened to find he was not.
troglodyt: i can't go out with someone who is cheating on me with a girl.
sythka: i;m pretty unstable actualy:)
Max42: 2 girls for every boy =)
sythka: hehe
troglodyt: i am a one girl guy, and she has to be a one guy girl
Max42: but then who am i to speak, eh?
troglodyt: that is why I don't make a good thelemite
troglodyt: i never have a dish to pass at parties
sythka: well they weren't exactly "serious "relationships
Max42: crowley was the only thelemite
troglodyt: mm hmm
Max42: the others are just posseurs
Max42: sythka: heh, a lot of people consider every relationship to be serious
Max42: these aren't the people you'd want to invite to a party ;-P
troglodyt: I never worry too much about how well I can fuck dickwise, when two women can get off fine without one at all.
sythka: i know
troglodyt: I figure they should be happy with what they get
sythka: haha
sythka: heh

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